The Wisdom Seekers Experience
All around the country, people are meeting to discuss a new model of aging in America. They want to fulfill their promise to themselves. Wisdom Seekers is part of a movement to redefine aging and is influenced by the book written by Rabbi Schachter-Shalomi, who developed a trans-denominational philosophy to help him deal with his own aging process. He realized that in his sixties he was sloughing off an old phase of life, but it was not clear to him what the next phase would be. His book, From Age-ing to Sage-ing: A Profound New Vision for Growing Older, tells his story and his path to discovering what he sees for elders in the coming years. In this process, we will learn the skills to move into the role of Elder.
Approximately 76 million boomers baby boomers are moving into their sixties and are planning for retirement or are already retired. Their age cohort has blasted all norms as they have moved through each decade. So, we are in the process of developing a new paradigm for a way of living that will fill a very important role in human existence. We can learn to become wise by studying the following modules.
HOW IT WORKS
This 12-module program is designed to help people who have a desire to live their third phase of life in peace and serenity. In these days of fast moving political and social change, elders have the capacity to make a difference. Elders have wisdom from long life experience that can make a difference in their families, communities and the world.
MODULE 1: THE WISDOM SEEKERS EXPERIENCE
In the past, elders held a revered and honored place in society. With industrialization, those who could no longer be productive were cast aside. Aging since then has been considered a time of loss and diminishment with the elderly serving no real purpose in society. In this program, we will learn the skills to shed the role of elderly and become Wise Elders. The purpose is to develop that dormant part of ourselves that was buried during the second phase of life when we were raising our children, building our careers and developing material security. Now is the time to fulfill our new life purpose designed for the third phase of life.
MODULE 2: CONSCIOUS LIVING/CONSCIOUS AGING
Conscious living is the art of living in the present moment, doing one thing at a time purposefully. Although we remain aware of the past and the future, we learn to focus on living in the present and focus on the positive. Rather than living in the past with regrets, or living in the future with anxiety, we live in the moment. According to Rabbi Zalman, “Conscious Aging” has emerged as a social ideal at a specific moment in history, the first decade of the 21st century. In the article on her website, “Ageless Cornucopia”, Karen Kellock states that when we age, we may physically diminish, but old age is the culmination of life, a crown of glory, and a time of heightened mental development.
MODULE 3: LIFE ASSESSMENT
By doing a Life Assessment, we look at our lives by each decade. Bringing to the surface past negative events, regrets and perceived failures, we can see what wisdom we have gained from these experiences. We reinterpret these emotional hurts by looking at the areas of our lives from the perspective of a Wise Elder. Also, when we begin to see our lives from a panoramic view, we see our patterns and understand more about how we arrived at the present moment.
MODULE 4: LOVE
Before we can truly love others, we must first love ourselves. Part of the process of becoming a Wise Elder is to recognize and affirm who we are. We learn to trust the process of becoming and to forgive others and ourselves. Our self-concept rises out of the messages that we give ourselves about what our world is, who we are in relationship to this world, and what we are worth.
MODULE 5: FORGIVENESS
Forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a choice we make and a matter of will. Forgiveness is not an emotion. Forgiveness is not necessarily condoning the action, absolving the offenders of their responsibility, or reconciliation. Archbishop Desmond Tutu says that without forgiveness there is no future. Has unforgiveness stifled relations within your family or community? Most of all, what harm has carrying that anger and resentment done to you?
MODULE 6: GRATITUDE
Gratitude is an integral part of becoming a Wise Elder in our families and communities. Finding reasons for gratitude in our daily lives and having an attitude of gratitude produces a positive energy that radiates out from us and into the world and to every living organism. This energy has many names including love, universal love, divine energy and Spirit. Living with a grateful heart keeps us in peace and improves our health.
MODULE 7: STUDYING THE BIG QUESTIONS
Philosophers throughout history have tried to answer the big questions. Other philosophers disagreed with them or viewed the question from another angle. The result isn’t as important as asking the questions. As time passes, we can begin to form the beliefs we live by. As Wise Elders, we need to explore these questions so we can know our own “true north”.
MODULE 8: MORTALITY
Facing our own mortality is necessary to complete our life successfully. There is a conspiracy in our society to try to outlive death. We repress all discussion about death. We need to be clear that death is not a mistake. It is present in our lives, and as wise elders we try to become more comfortable with dying, so that we can more fully live in the present. We can obtain wisdom more fully when we have dealt with life completion.
MODULE 9: INTUITION
We have all experienced that “gut” feeling about something. If we do not recognize it at the time, we may recognize that we knew something after the fact. This is intuition. Many neuroscientists believe that we have only begun to develop the neocortex area of the brain. We as elders who have the wisdom, knowledge and maturity from a long life should not hesitate to respond to our intuitive powers.
MODULE 10: INNER WISDOM
The life experience of each person holds treasures of wisdom. Time, reflection, and inner work identify insights, lessons learned, responses to inner promptings, and hidden blessings. These make a rich life even richer for elders. This richness of inner wisdom is a legacy awaited by younger generations and is crucial in today’s youth-oriented society.
MODULE 11: FINDING MEANING AND PURPOSE
As we move into that time in our life when we can slow down and really think about life, do we really want to stop making a difference? In other cultures, this is when the wisdom from long life experience is valued and called upon to resolve issues in families and community. We may want to move into this role.
MODULE 12: ELDERS STEPPING INTO THEIR GREATNESS
Wise elders in our society are now reclaiming their role in today’s world. They volunteer to assist others less fortunate or to promote a worthy cause. Through the focus on contemplation, reflection, and spiritual aspects of their lives, elders are becoming a rich reservoir of knowledge and experience from which the greater society can draw as it struggles with the global challenges facing the world today. Change is in the air and new roles are emerging.
OPENING – Module 1
ROSE On the first day of school, our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?”
I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze. “Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked.
She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids.”
“No, seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. “I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine” as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three-by-five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed, she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.” (This cracked me up!)
As we laughed, she cleared her throat and began: “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.
“If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything, I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.”
She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.” She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.
One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.
Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.
These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.
SUGGESTED DISCUSSION TOPICS
* Does anyone know a person like Rose? Tell us about them.
* Do you have some unfinished goal or dreams that you would like to fulfill?
* What talent or calling has been pushed aside through your middle years?
* What steps do you need to take to fulfill that goal?
Remember, growing older is mandatory. Growing up is optional. We make a Living by what we get. We make a Life by what we give. Do you know anyone like Rose?
